Welsh Rarebit

No rabbits were harmed in the making of this recipe

When meeting new people one of the ways in which I assert dominance is by casually mentioning, preferably before even names are exchanged (and immediately forgotten), that I once traversed the entire length of Norway by ski during the winter.

However, and over time, the people I meet appear increasingly indifferent, bored even, upon learning about this extra-ordinary tale of human endurance. The most I get these days is perhaps a shrug, maybe a “good for you”, or even a “look what you did” closely followed up with a laconic “well done”. The absolute worst response yet (but perhaps also the most incisive) came from a young girl who remarked “so how much trauma did you even have to make you want to go and do that?”

But the times have changed and so have I. To secure the right impression these days I just casually state my fairly unique set of chosen pronouns and this always grabs their immediate attention, leaving them cooing at my feet.

So what exactly are these preferred pronouns?

My pronouns are “he/skied”.

But what happens when you encounter a well-balanced and perfectly normal human being, an individual entirely indifferent to all of this performative bullshit? Well, the chances of meeting any such people is increasingly rare. In fact, it is almost as rare as encountering anybody who has heard of, or even has tasted, a welsh rarebit.

Which is very surprising, for just like chance encounters with well-rounded and grounded human beings, a welsh rarebit is in fact exceedingly delicious. It’s also the perfect snack for when you want something fast and easy, like when you get home in the early hours from the club (that itself is a very very very rare occurrence these days).

When making this, I pretty much follow the Fortnum and Mason recipe, except that I dont have any particular loyalty to English mustard and so replace this with Dijon for a smoother taste. If you don´t have any leftover Guinness then don´t worry, you can equally swop this out with any other dark ale or beer (such as Trappist beer, bayer, Porter or a Stout). I mention Guinness because it really does give the best result. If you are wondering what to do with the rest of that Guinness can, well I will soon share a delightful Steak and Guinness stew recipe (or you could just drink it).

this one was make on ciabatta bread and splashed with additional tabasco sauce after grilling (but perhaps simple sourdough bread gives the best results)

Ingredients (give approx 3 slices of toast)

• one large shot of Guinness (4-5 tablespoons)

• 1 tablespoon dijon (or english mustard)

• a couple of dashes Worcester sauce

• dash of tabasco

• 200g grated Cheddar cheese

• one egg

• 2-3 slices of toast (this will depends on size)

Method

• Mix all your ingredients in a bowl.

• Set your oven to high grill and underneath the grill toast one side of your bread.

• Remove the bread from the oven and turn these over. Add the mixture equally across the top of the bread. Return to the grill and heat until the topping is golden brown (I also simultaneously grill a halved tomato as garnish).

• Remove and serve with a dash of Worcester (and optionally also tabasco).